Saturday, March 29, 2008

Try this at your office!!!

Let the gossip mongers have a fun time...

The village that built a huge business empire

Proud of their achievements: A giant sign saying ‘No. 1 Village of the World’ seen at the entrance of Huaxi Village in Jiangsu province.

A miracle may be the most apt description for Huaxi Village, China’s richest village, where the modern socialist system shines and helps bring prosperity to every resident.

China's No. 1 Village

I REMEMBER seeing rubbish strewn in an unkempt and stagnant river behind a villa during a visit to China’s richest village, Huaxi in Jiangsu province, last July.

That’s the first impression I had of the village whose residents have at least a bungalow and a car each as well as savings of more than a million yuan (RM458,000).

The host showed a group of us from Malaysia her beautiful house with simple decorations. It’s the villager custom to share their road to success with anyone.

The lack of civic-mindedness among the Huaxi villagers, too, is something they don’t hide.

“That’s true and this shows that the villagers’ level of awareness on environment protection is still relatively low,” Huaxi Village communist party secretary Wu Xie’en said in an interview last Sunday.

“We distribute pamphlets to every household to educate them to keep their compound clean. We still need to improve on this.”

Economically, the village is enjoying a good run. But, they hope to produce first-class villagers who are as good as they are in their entrepreneurship inclination.

A miracle may be the most apt description for Huaxi Village, where the modern socialist system shines and helps bring prosperity to every villager.

How does the system work? Every worker of the companies under the village-owned Huaxi Group receives only 30% of his salary every month for living expenses.

The remaining 70% is left within the company as liquid capital and the worker will get his year-end bonus, which is three times more than his wage.

The person cannot take out his bonus but is offered shares in the company instead. The following year, he will get his share dividends from profits the company makes.

Zhang Qilong, who moved to the village from Huai’an to work at Jiangyin Huaxi Steel Co Ltd as an assistant chief, gets a monthly salary of 1,500 yuan (RM690), most of which is tied to shares in his company.

“I only get a few hundred (yuan) every month but the company provides us with free accommodation and gives us shares and many social benefits,” he said.

Wu said: “We practise the ‘prosperity for all’ concept. While our (Huaxi-born) villagers who venture into the group of companies reap profits from their investment, workers also have the same opportunity.

“Besides salary and dividend, they also enjoy various benefits such as free education, medical and health examination, and rice and cooking oil allowances.”

A senior journalist of Xinhua news agency, Yuan Yanghe, said at a ceremony held in the village recently that the unique reward policy of the village had made a deep impression on him.

“If a senior citizen lives until 100 years old, each of his family members will be awarded 10,000 yuan (RM4,600). A few years ago, when an elderly man celebrated his centennial birthday, 37 members of his family receivedthe award,” he said.

By having villagers and workers chip into Huaxi Group, the funds snowball, providing Huaxi Group the cash flow to operate and grow its businesses.

The Huaxi Group, now with more than 60 companies under its umbrella and a listing on the Shenzhen Stock Exchange, first ventured into business in 1961. It has a wide range of businesses, including those in steel-making, textile and tourism.

In 1975, the village used the profits from its hardware business to build a five-storey building for a childcare centre and primary and secondary schools that locals proudly regard as their “education building”.

Under the leadership of its previous secretary and Wu’s father Renbao, the village then ventured into the manufacturing of nylon fabric. At that time, Renbao estimated the start-up capital at 190,000 yuan (RM87,000) but the village’s coffers was 60,000 yuan (27,500)short.

The ex-secretary and several leaders of the village dug into their personal savings and banded with other villagers to build the factory.

“Can you all tighten your belts temporarily, take less dividends this year and turn the money saved into shares?” the ex-secretary asked the villagers.

That was Renbao’s maiden effort to unify the village’s resources and create a business empire fully belonging to the people.

Within a year, the nylon business soared to a sales volume of 1.19 million yuan (RM545,000), making a profit of 380,000 yuan (RM174,000).

Over the decades, the Huaxi Group grew by leaps and bounds and hit a sales volume of 45 billion yuan (RM20.6bil)and contributed over 800 million yuan (RM366.2mil) in taxes.

Yang Yongchang, a native from a nearby village who moved to Huaxi to set up his own business in 1997, believes in the “collective economy” and “prosperity for all” system.

“I operated my business for about five years before buying a residential account in this village and incorporating the business with the Huaxi Group.

“I have since been given the task to head Jiangyin Huaxi Steel Co Ltd,” he said.

“I agreed with the ex-secretary’s economy model. Before joining the Huaxi Group, I always thought of my own interest first but now I want to shoulder the social responsibility and contribute my worth to society.”

The villagers’ wealth can be seen in the hundreds of rows of bungalows, but Zhang pointed out that many workers below the executive level have a hill to climb to feel the full effect of the system.

“Prosperity for all doesn’t mean equal distribution of wealth. Company workers still earn less than others, and it’s still very much performance-based,” he said.


Thursday, March 27, 2008

Asta La Vista, babe!


Bizfun is BACK!!!
http://www.bizfun.cc/forum

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Taxi driver


A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the shit out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years”

Drunk driver


A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.

“I can’t do that, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.”

“Okay, we’ll just get a urine sample down at the station.”

“Can’t do that either, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.”

“Alright, we could get a blood sample.”

“Can’t do that either, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.”

“Fine then, just walk this white line.”

“Can’t do that either, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m drunk.”

War Insurance


Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:

“If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000.”

“Now,” he concluded,” which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?

Get smarter by drinking


A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Football Training Session

Beer helps

Road Sign

Click to enlarge

Monday, March 24, 2008

In Support of Earth Hour

Original Version


San Francisco joins Earth Hour


Australia embraced Earth Hour

Si Gong

My "si gong" - not Jay Chou of course...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

My Cubicle



Lyrics:
"MY CUBICLE"

My job is stupid,
My day's a bore,
Inside this office,
From 8 to 4.

Nothing ever happens,
My life is pretty blank,
Pretending that I am working,
Pray I don't get canned.

My cubicle, my cubicle,
It's 1 of 62,
It's my small space,
In a crowded place,
Just a six by six board booth,
And I hate it, that's the truth.

When I give a sigh,
As the boss walks by,
No one ever talks to me,
Or looks me in the eye,
And I really should work,
But instead I just sit here,
And surf the internet.

And my cubicle, my cubicle,
It doesn't have a view,
It's my small space,
In a crowded place,
I sit inside there too,
And sometimes I sit here nude.

Your song about my client - Delilah

In response to the Delilah's song

All food comes from India

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

FBI


The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this the FBI?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

“I’m calling to report my neighbor John Doe! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”

“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Doe’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at Doe and leave.

The phone rings at Doe’s house.

“Hey, John! Did the FBI come?”

“Yeah!”

“Did they chop your firewood?”

“Yep”

“Great, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”

FOC Lesson

Remote Control

Three Generals


A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men.

The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!”
The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?”
The general says, “See that man over there? Kill him!”
Without hesitating, the private kills the man.
The general says, “See? That man has balls!”

The marine general says, That’s nothing. Private, get over here!”
The marine private reports, “Yes, sir?”
The marine general says, “See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself.”
Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.
The marine general says, “See? Now that man has balls!”

The admiral says, “That’s nothing.”
He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, “Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!”
The seaman answers, “Excuse me, sir?”
The admiral repeats, “JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!”
The seaman replies, “Fuck you, sir!”
The admiral says, “See? That man has balls and he’s got brains too!”

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Street Fighter: The Later Years

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Part 5


Part 6


Part 7


Part 8


Part 9

Music, please

Hairdresser

Friday, March 14, 2008

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Wake up!!!

Karma?


http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/3/11/nation/20080311085456&sec=nation

Zakaria Deros of 'istana infamy' dies (updated)

KLANG: Former Port Klang assemblyman Datuk Zakaria Md Deros died after suffering a heart attack early Tuesday morning.

The controversial 62-year-old politician was dropped from the Selangor Barisan Nasional line-up for the general election.

Datuk Zakaria Md Deros
He was replaced by his daughter-in-law Roselinda Abdul Jamil as the candidate for the seat, which she did not win.

Also a former Klang municipal councillor, Zakaria hogged headlines last year when he had a run-in with the law for not submitting building plans for a mansion that was described as a virtual “istana” (palace) by his critics.

He was also found to have not paid the assessment for another property for 12 years, while his family was caught operating an illegal satay restaurant on government reserve land.

Due to these controversies, Zakaria gave in to mounting pressure and withdrew from being a municipal councillor.

His mansion has 21 bathrooms and 16 bedrooms, including 11 that are occupied by each of his children, as well as a VIP room, three living rooms, a dining hall and a prayer room.

The house also has a swimming pool, several gazebos, an orchard, a two-hole golf lawn, an office, a storeroom, two rooms for maids as well as a wet kitchen and a dry kitchen.

He is expected to be buried in Malacca.

Little Nancy's Pet



Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

Monday, March 10, 2008

GOODBYE SAM!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Jeff Ooi - Han Chiang, Penang


Peak Oil - A Myth



http://online.wsj.com/public/article_print/SB120459389654809159.html

Many energy analysts view the ongoing waltz of crude prices with the mystical $100 mark -- notwithstanding the dollar's anemia -- as another sign of the beginning of the end for the oil era. "[A]t the furthest out, it will be a crisis in 2008 to 2012," declares Matthew Simmons, the most vocal voice among the "neo-peak-oil" club. Tempering this pessimism only slightly is the viewpoint gaining ground among many industry leaders, who argue that daily production by 2030 of 100 million barrels will be difficult.

In fact, we are nowhere close to reaching a peak in global oil supplies

Given a set of assumptions, forecasting the peak-oil-point -- defined as the onset of global production decline -- is a relatively trivial problem. Four primary factors will pinpoint its exact timing. The trivial becomes far more complex because the four factors -- resources in place (how many barrels initially underground), recovery efficiency (what percentage is ultimately recoverable), rate of consumption, and state of depletion at peak (how empty is the global tank when decline kicks in) -- are inherently uncertain.

- What are the global resources in place? Estimates vary. But approximately six to eight trillion barrels each for conventional and unconventional oil resources (shale oil, tar sands, extra heavy oil) represent probable figures -- inclusive of future discoveries. As a matter of context, the globe has consumed only one out of a grand total of 12 to 16 trillion barrels underground.

- What percentage of global resources is ultimately recoverable? The industry recovers an average of only one out of three barrels of conventional resources underground and considerably less for the unconventional.

This benchmark, established over the past century, is poised to change upward. Modern science and unfolding technologies will, in all likelihood, double recovery efficiencies. Even a 10% gain in extraction efficiency on a global scale will unlock 1.2 to 1.6 trillion barrels of extra resources -- an additional 50-year supply at current consumption rates.

The impact of modern oil extraction techniques is already evident across the globe. Abqaiq and Ghawar, two of the flagship oil fields of Saudi Arabia, are well on their way to recover at least two out of three barrels underground -- in the process raising recovery expectations for the remainder of the Kingdom's oil assets, which account for one quarter of world reserves.

Are the lessons and successes of Ghawar transferable to the countless struggling fields around the world -- most conspicuously in Venezuela, Mexico, Iran or the former Soviet Union -- where irreversible declines in production are mistakenly accepted as the norm and in fact fuel the "neo-peak-oil" alarmism? The answer is a definitive yes.

Hundred-dollar oil will provide a clear incentive for reinvigorating fields and unlocking extra barrels through the use of new technologies. The consequences for emerging oil-rich regions such as Iraq can be far more rewarding. By 2040 the country's production and reserves might potentially rival those of Saudi Arabia.

Paradoxically, high crude prices may temporarily mask the inefficiencies of others, which may still remain profitable despite continuing to use 1960-vintage production methods. But modernism will inevitably prevail: The national oil companies that hold over 90% of the earth's conventional oil endowment will be pressed to adopt new and better technologies.

- What will be the average rate of crude consumption between now and peak oil? Current daily global consumption stands around 86 million barrels, with projected annual increases ranging from 0% to 2% depending on various economic outlooks. Thus average consumption levels ranging from 90 to 110 million barrels represent a reasonable bracket. Any economic slowdown -- as intimated by the recent tremors in the global equity markets -- will favor the lower end of this spectrum.

This is not to suggest that global supply capacity will grow steadily unimpeded by bottlenecks -- manpower, access, resource nationalism, legacy issues, logistical constraints, etc. -- within the energy equation. However, near-term obstacles do not determine the global supply ceiling at 2030 or 2050. Market forces, given the benefit of time and the burgeoning mobility of technology and innovation across borders, will tame transitional obstacles.

- When will peak oil arrive? This widely accepted tipping point -- 50% of ultimately recoverable resources consumed -- is largely a tribute to King Hubbert, a distinguished Shell geologist who predicted the peak oil point for the U.S. lower 48 states. While his timing was very good (he forecast 1968 versus 1970 in fact), he underestimated peak daily production (9.5 million barrels actual versus eight million estimated).

But modern extraction methods will undoubtedly stretch Hubbert's "50% assumption," which was based on Sputnik-era technologies. Even a modest shift -- to 55% of recoverable resources consumed -- will delay the onset by 20-25 years.

Where do reasonable assumptions surrounding peak oil lead us? My view, subjective and imprecise, points to a period between 2045 and 2067 as the most likely outcome.

Cambridge Energy Associates forecasts the global daily liquids production to rise to 115 million barrels by 2017 versus 86 million at present. Instead of a sharp peak per Hubbert's model, an undulating, multi-decade long plateau production era sets in -- i.e., no sudden-death ending.

The world is not running out of oil anytime soon. A gradual transitioning on the global scale away from a fossil-based energy system may in fact happen during the 21st century. The root causes, however, will most likely have less to do with lack of supplies and far more with superior alternatives. The overused observation that "the Stone Age did not end due to a lack of stones" may in fact find its match.

The solutions to global energy needs require an intelligent integration of environmental, geopolitical and technical perspectives each with its own subsets of complexity. On one of these -- the oil supply component -- the news is positive. Sufficient liquid crude supplies do exist to sustain production rates at or near 100 million barrels per day almost to the end of this century.

Technology matters. The benefits of scientific advancement observable in the production of better mobile phones, TVs and life-extending pharmaceuticals will not, somehow, bypass the extraction of usable oil resources. To argue otherwise distracts from a focused debate on what the correct energy-policy priorities should be, both for the United States and the world community at large.

Mr. Saleri, president and CEO of Quantum Reservoir Impact in Houston, was formerly head of reservoir management for Saudi Aramco.

11th Hour Address

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Monday, March 3, 2008

The Family

Hot fresh from the ovens of Comedy Court

Anwar


Hasn't lost his touch, has he?

Saturday, March 1, 2008

CCTV vs Crime


This blogger got it right.
http://polytikus.com/2008/03/02/lousy-campaign-promises/

Lousy campaign promises.

From The Sun (no link to their story yesterday unfortunate cos their website on has paper from Mon to Fri) whereby Carol Chew Chee Lin, Barisan Nasional candidate in Seputeh parliamentary seat said:

“I don’t intend to just talk the walk but also walk the talk.”

Really? No shit, sherlock.

“People want to see a better living environment,” said Chew, who intends to bring her Beliawanis to “service the people in Seputeh”.

Ummm, is she going to bring all her Beliawanis members by the truckloads to *gasp* SERVICE the people?

:|

And if I hear any other ‘nak jadi tapi tak jadi’ politicians say that they are going to install CCTVs to combat crime, I swear I will blow my top. CCTV didn’t save Nurin did it? All the CCTVs installed in public places throughout Wangsa Maju all stopped working and guess what, crime is still rampant!

Kampung Tunku candidate from BN Sheah Kok Fah has said it. Former a councillor with the then Petaling Jaya Municipal Council (MPPJ) - I have my reservations on how clean he is. MPPJ is the shits and it has always been. Last thing any constituency needs is a local councillor as their state assemblymen. Double the red tape, double the corruption and double the inaction. His stand to use CCTVs - aku tak sokong.

Chew No Fun has said it too. If you click the link, you can see what she’s doing best - playing the local council’s role. Conclusion, you cannot trust local councillors! If people like Sheah would’ve help fix all the drains in PJ long time ago, we won’t be asking our legislator i.e. Chew to do some lousy drainage work. CCTV to solve natch thefts in PJU? I doubt it will work.

Bottomline is, CCTVs do not prevent crime. They can merely assist the police or victim identify the criminal but that is also subject to how smart the criminal is in wearing a mask etc. If you want to really prevent crime, think like criminals and to figure what factors would act as a deterrent. Trust me it is not very hard to steal a CCTV or break it. Haven’t we watched in MacGyver always uses a mirror to block the view or use a small knife to cut the wired? Or even better, watch the Mission Impossible series and you can learn how to loop the video so it plays the same scene over and over again (well, for an elaborate heist that is).

So what is the best way to solve crime? Give people opportunities for employment, reduce the price of goods by strengthening the economy by plugging leakages and wastage. It’s a national issue and it’s most certainly an economic and social problem. Short term measures - since I believe we should never rely on the police - is to bolster neighbourhood watches by getting the community closer to monitor the area and look out for each other. A thief is happiest if the neighbourhood does not even stir when an alarm goes off. I’ve broken into my own home before, I know. Contracting neighbourhood patrols are not ideal, I strongly believe they can be in cohorts with syndicate robbers. We need to be vigilant and community ties has never been more important than ever.

So for election campaigns - please don’t take the CCTV route in resolving crime. CCTVs require manpower, and if you don’t have people monitoring them or changing the tapes or whatever - it’s absolutely pointless!

I have more to blog but I’m getting my first day off in two weeks. I’m going back to bed.

You have two cows



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells, the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.


A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

Salutations



Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "Sure, buddy."

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!"

Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "No, SIR!"